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The KeysTone Statement

A sports, humor and entertainment blog right in the heart of Pittsburgh (and Pennsylvania).

April The Giraffe May Be Preggo Again, Promiscuity Questions Arise

April The Giraffe May Be Preggo Again, Promiscuity Questions Arise

Via Eliza Murphy of ABCNew.com:

There might be another bun in April the giraffe’s oven.

“I cannot confirm nor deny the possibility of another pregnancy,” Animal Adventure Park owner Jordan Patch said on “Good Morning America” today, fueling the speculation.

April the giraffe was the viral sensation that captivated the world for 65 days this spring when viewers on social media anxiously awaited her giving birth at the park in Harpursville, New York.

Millions of people tuned into watch the April 15 delivery of a baby boy, Tajiri.

“Tajiri is a word in Swahili that means hope,” Patch said on “GMA” in May, revealing the calf’s name for the very first time. “The name also stands for confidence, which our calf is -- very, very confident.”

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Aww snap it's back. Such a heartwarming story several months ago with April the giraffe popping out her first kid.

While I love a good animal video (my Instagrammy is full of them - pigs playing with cows may be the greatest content the Internet has bestowed upon us), I wasn't one of them, and now my chance at retribution.

Only thing is the bloom off the rose? April's done this before and jeez, not even a year after she let that first baby sail. It opens up a lot of questions, America. First, do we know who the father is? I understand that my brother and I are only a mere 16 months apart, but we got mistaken as chubby nerd twins with bowl cuts growing up so we definitely knew we came from the same source. Not to say we don't of this potential new offspring, but things are unclear as if the father's the same one to little Tajiri, here. And if the daddy is a deadbeat, who's the Maury of the Animal Kingdom so we can get a DNA test up and moving? I could see a spider monkey, or perhaps a lemur.

And is this male suitor - is he going to be there for both kids? April better have considered this before she started gallivanting her star-studded legs all across that spacious terrain. I don't know.  You get a taste of fame, you start reaching for higher, more elusive Acacia leaves (I Googled "what do giraffes eat" for that) without thinking of the potential blowback.

Also, Tajiri?

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Is the kid going to spraying green mist in defense of little bro/sis? 

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Nothing like a fake-out of cuteness and then being suddenly blinded to ward off enemies (just ask Newman in Jurassic Park). I think the namesake was a wise one. Nobody messes with "The Japanese Buzzsaw".

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Appreciate The On-Ice Degeneracy Of Former Penguin, Jarkko Ruutu

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