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The KeysTone Statement

A sports, humor and entertainment blog right in the heart of Pittsburgh (and Pennsylvania).

Vote: Who Is Film's Best Hockey Player?

Vote: Who Is Film's Best Hockey Player?

There’s plenty of things that Hollywood could stop doing (employing a gaggle of creeps would be a really good start), but one thing they should keep doing is making hockey movies. The sport has so many personalities and when you amp them up to eleven, mix in a little drama, a little violence and some memorable lines, then you got yourself a movie worth checking out.  I compiled a list of seven candidates (nine if you’re being a nit-picky prick about it) of who could be the hockey movie’s best character. So pick put the foil on and give any reasons as to why that player would be your stomach light. (Note: I didn't include any of the Mighty Ducks kids since they're kids. That would be like comparing Icebox to Steamin' Willie Beamon) We’ll read the results on this week’s episode The Keystone Cast, which drops every Wednesday/Thursday.


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Gordon Bombay (Emilo Estevez) - Coach

The District 5 Ducks (The Mighty Ducks)

Qualifications: Attorney skills, wise, likes winning, hates losing, mentors Charlie Conroy, Adam Banks and Greg Goldberg, would make a great DD (like Bert on Sesame Street)

He said this: “Have you guys ever seen a flock of ducks flying in perfect formation? It's beautiful. Pretty awesome the way they all stick together. Ducks never say die. Ever seen a duck fight? No way. Why? Because the other animals are afraid. They know that if they mess with one duck, they gotta deal with the whole flock.”

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Reggie Dunlop (Paul Newman) - Player-Coach

Charlestown Chiefs (Slap Shot)

Qualifications: Veteran, does what he can to keep the team in Charlestown, found out for Hanarahan that his wife was a lesbian.

He said this: "They don't want you to score goals! They want blood!"  

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Derek Sutton (Patrick Swayze) - Center

Hamilton Stallions (Youngblood)

Qualifications: Has a chip on his shoulder from being stuck in the minors for four years, good mentor, has terrific mullet game.

He said this: "The only thing better than a glass of beer, is tea with Miss McGill!"  


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Steve, Jeff & Jack Hanson - Center, Right Wing, Left Wing

Charlestown Chiefs (Slap Shot)

Qualifications: Team players, way ahead of the hipster glasses game, they and their toys are mobile, can beat some ass.

They said this:  “Puttin' on the foil!” “Every game!” “Yeah, you want some?”

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Doug Glatt (Seann William Scott) - Defenseman/Enforcer

Halifax Highlanders (Goon)

Qualifications: Nice, polite and can also beat some ass, has a sweet wolf drawing.

He said this: “Why are you crying? Did you just watch Rudy?”

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Dean Youngblood - Left Wing

Hamilton Mustangs (Youngblood)

Qualifications: Upcoming star, overcame his fears, locker room favorite, punked out Carl Racki

He said this: "Where else could I get beaten up every day, treated like shit by prima donna Canadians, get my nuts shaved?"


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Ogie Oglethorpe - Left Wing

Syracuse Bulldogs (Slap Shot)

Qualifications: Extremely intimidating, really good fro-game, Canada would refuse to accept his deportation from the States, has good luck with the ice dancers

They said this (about him): “They convicted Oglethorpe.”


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