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My Live Thoughts During Pens/Sens Game 2 (With Fun Links)

My Live Thoughts During Pens/Sens Game 2 (With Fun Links)

1ST PERIOD

  • I just felt that Phaneuf hit on my buddy's futon. Rust's head was down for quite awhile on the bench, all emo Charlie Brown who just had the football pulled from him, but who then proceeded to get leveled by Dion Phaneuf.
  • Someone has an authentic Pens jersey with "Jagoff" on the back - do they realize they're insulting their own team as well as wasting their money? Just buy a 66 sweater and call it a night.
  • Pierre saying that "Scott Stevens is smiling somewhere" after that hit is such a Pierre McGuire thing to fucking say. You suck, sir.
  • With that goatee, Erik Karlsson should be cooking meth on Justified.

2ND PERIOD

  • I was expecting 90's Bob Saget to make a "made for TV" comment on that prat fall by Burrows in front of the net. I know he was living off that Danny Tanner cred, but how did Bob survive on America's Funniest Home Videos for so long after being one of the dirtiest comedians to walk the late 20th century? Also, that Claussen dude looks like he should naively be pinching loaves in urinals Randy Quaid style in Kingpin.
  • A good ol' puck scuff on Karlsson's sweater. "Now, that you mention it, I think I'm bleedin' inside my chest..."
  • Don't touch Crosby's face apparently or else the whole team goes apeshit.
  • The Senators have a lot of weird last names and a lot of them don't sound like hockey names with the exception of Wideman (who also has a UFC name). A good chunk of them sound like exiled Fraggle Rock characters. Methot, for instance,  totally rolls with Marjorie The Trash Heap.
  • Sens are outta gas and the Pens gotta keep keeping that shit in the zone.
  • I want to see Kessel mic'd up. His bench body language is unmatched.
  • Anderson has 20 saves. The man can goal tend.

3RD PERIOD

  • Who's the better Stone: Mark or Sharon? I've never seen Basic Instinct or anything with Sharon Stone so this is a legit question.
  • Ian Cole's playoff beard game has that Wooly Willy feel.
  • 14 blocked shots + 21 goal saves = nothing to sneeze at, Ottawa.
  • From 12:41 - 9:09 I ate some of my friend's chicken so I was indisposed. It was good. Had Greek yogurt sauce on it. We also discussed Brendan Fraser movies. I'm a big Encino Man fan guy. George Of The Jungle was a letdown for 13-year old me.
  • That janitor in the Hyundai commercial needs to do his job and stop answering the fucking phones.
  • Kessel knocks the first one in and once he get to the bench acts like nothing happened. Dude is arguing with ghosts the whole game on the bench but one well-timed puck in the net cools him down like the hockey assassin that he is.
  • Wideman with two slap shots that live up to his name.
  • Empty net with 1:16 left.
  • Guy Boucher calls a timeout, who I didn't know pronounced his name GHEE - also very Fraggle Rock-ish.
  • Was Fleury just sit-dancing to "Machinehead"?
  • Dude, that Malkin-Turris face off was playoff hockey gold. A little stick-chin lift never hurt nobody. I love this.
  • 10th career playoff shut-out by MAF, tying King Ludqvuist for active leading. Let's add a "B" in front of his initials and re-arrange them to "AMF".
  • Turd Pierre interviews Matt Cullen after the game. I've been trying to pinpoint Cullen's doppleganger the entire run of regulation and just now realized who it is: J.D.'s older brother in Scrubs. Pierre, seemingly oblivious to the victory that just occurred, manages to shoehorn Scott Stevens again into the conversation. 

FINAL SCORE: 1-0

LET'S GO PENS!

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