Post Game (Of Thrones) Thoughts: S7, E3 "The Queen's Justice"
(DISCLAIMER: I have no clue whatsoever on how to spell [or remember] character names, but I will forego my due diligence of journalistic integrity by researching the proper spelling in favor of humor and self-mockery. Seriously, screw off GRRM for making these names too close to real ones
UPDATE: I'm a little more familiarized with some names, but some probably means like three, so get ready for this song and dance of ice and fire eff ups
SECOND UPDATE: Other than "Targaryon" I'm feeling pretty confident this week. Here goes nothing):
Episode 3 didn't have a lot of action, but it sure was chock-full of good interaction. Dany & Jon finally meet, Sansa and Brandon finally reunite, Euron and Jaime butt heads, and Lady Olenna makes an exit like no other. Letter grade? A-. Without the Stark & Dany dance it would be a B-.
Let’s get to the brass tacks:
Probably not the best way to break bread with House Stark is to take all their weapons and remove their only way of escape. That's like saying you're there for the trust fall and you stick out one hand. Just a total power move on House Targaryon’s part.
Dany and Jon going face to face deserves a LeBron James “It’s about damn time.”
I absolutely thought things weren’t going to go well between the two (like swords drawn and venom spitting), but in mucho thanks to Tyrion, the universe actually kind of leveled out considering Jon was on the defense and Dany was the aggressor. One thing is for sure - before this series is over, they’re totally going to get it on.
Speaking of which, I absolutely love the dynamic Tyrion and Jon Snow have. Really was a highlight of the episode.
Euron is a pure degenerate. He’s got to die in some horrible fashion.
With Cersei’s knack for God awful, horrific punishment, her method of getting back at the Dornish gals surprisingly fits the crime. Sure, it’s a real bummer to watch your daughter’s face rot off, but the simple solution to that is don’t go around kissing other people’s daughters with poison on your lips.
I want to like Jaime, I really do, but him still banging his sister (evil, spiteful sister nonetheless) is throwing my vibes about him all kinds of out of whack.
HELL YES. My man Jorah is rocking a healthy bod. I really wanted him and Sam to buddy cop it (up? down?) to Dragonstone, so it’s kind of bittersweet that Sam is stuck playing copy boy.
Still holding out hope that Jorah gets some sort of mystical powers from the healing process. Granted, we’re probably not going to get the cyborg-esque “Medieval Cable from X-Men merged with Hellboy” look that I was picturing in my head, but maybe he’ll walk away with some impervious to Whitewalker strength or the ability to shoot some Street Fighter fireballs (one or both would be an excellent consolation prize considering the friend zone he’s stuck in). Either way, I’m just glad he’s no scaley murderous psychopath.
How weirded out would you be if you were Sansa? First, you’ve got Little Finger slinking around, constantly trying to screw you (physically and psychologically) and you just reunite with your younger brother, who to her, is going through this “I ran away and discovered marijuana and psychedelics” phase. Bran, as crazy nutso as your Magical Mystery Tour has been, you can absolutely give her the lowdown.
Don’t like seeing Bronn ride with House Lannister, but what are you gonna do? I’m sure we’ll get some sort of “Come To Jesus” meeting with him and Tyrion down the line (but then again it is Game Of Thrones so who the hell knows)
Olenna had the coolest, non-violent death scene you could possibly have in this series. You get the last word and you probably just doze off and croak. Much better than getting flayed in public or your head squashed by a monstrous, rapist douche bag. Also, props to Jamie for just walking away after Olenna dropped that “killed your asshole son” bombshell on you instead of lopping her head off. That would have ended episode three on a sour note.
"Make sure you tell Cersei... I want her to know... it was me." #WinterIsHere