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This Latest Musical Rant Is In Thanks To The Talent Of Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass

This Latest Musical Rant Is In Thanks To The Talent Of Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass

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Couldn’t sleep last night so I listened to Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass. Nothing fancy just the top hits on Spotify, and I have to say, real good choice on last night Dom's part. You need a mood booster, a little trumpet will do ya. Didn’t necessarily help me sleep (I was really banking on dreaming about winning several Mexican standoffs in 1970s Guadalajara or at least being fired by Don Draper), but it does take you back to the simplicity of really well done music. 

Herb had all of it in the mid-sixties. Sex appeal, trumpet talent and backing group of other brass-based musicians that looked like they'd fuck your day up on the stage or in the streets.

 Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass Knuckles, everybody.

Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass Knuckles, everybody.

Today needs more of this stuff. I don’t know, mainstream music overall kind of sucks now, right? Old people said that a lot back in the day, but this time I’ve gotta be pretty on point - “your music sucks today, kids!” There are some exceptions: The Strokes, Arkells, The Menzingers, Gaslight Anthem (you know, the bands I like).

We need some smoldering-Sammy Davis Jr.-looking type to take the instrumental reins again. I’m not talking any Yanni bullshit or some Brian Setzer Orchestra trying to amp up swing and big band. Somebody that looks like they know more than you. Yanni had a poor sense of style so he wasn't the guy. No, we need somebody youthful, classic and simple but infused with his/her own unique sound.  There are certainly plenty of artists already doing that, but I’m talking huge impact stuff. Something (someone) that reformats the landscape of pop music. Listen, you give me a white suit, a bad toupee, a shit ton of spray tan and a Scarface coffee table pile of cocaine, I’ll be that group’s manager and promote them to the moon (and I will also later be their downfall unless they kick me to the curb, but the ride will be memorable, hypothetical current-day Herb Alpert group).

 "You stick with me fellas, you'll get album covers like this!" {rubs nose furiously}

"You stick with me fellas, you'll get album covers like this!" {rubs nose furiously}

Before my brief brush with insomnia, I listened to The Doors. I will preface the following statement by saying that I LOVE The Doors, in my top five bands of all time, but Jim Morrison’s poetry shit is so damn pretentious. I’m all for doing your own artistic thing, but trying to sound deep and thought provoking gets all little skewy-Louie when you whip out your dong on stage. Even if you’re speaking of the Lizard King, shaking your meet in public probably won’t get you points in the poetry world. A boozed-up, drugged-out late 60s rockstar could totally flash a wiener from time to time, but the Emily Post type? Not so much. 

Alright, that's it. Bye!

The Keystone Cast: Episode #57 "The Animal Draft"

The Keystone Cast: Episode #57 "The Animal Draft"

In Honor Of Dean Martin's 101st Birthday, Let's Do A Little "Dino 101"

In Honor Of Dean Martin's 101st Birthday, Let's Do A Little "Dino 101"