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Let's Break Down The Name & Celebrity Lookalikes Of Packers QB & Former Division III Sensation, "Dirty" Joe Callahan

Let's Break Down The Name & Celebrity Lookalikes Of Packers QB & Former Division III Sensation, "Dirty" Joe Callahan

Via Brian Jones of 247Sports.com:

Callahan spent the first six weeks of this season on the Green Bay practice squad before being elevated to the active roster on Oct. 16, where he remained until being released on Dec. 16. He was originally signed by Green Bay as an undrafted rookie out of Wesley College on May 6, 2016. After being released by the Packers on Oct. 13, 2016, Callahan spent time with the New Orleans Saints and Cleveland Browns on the active roster before being signed to Green Bay’s practice squad on Dec. 2, 2016. He was signed to the active roster by the Packers on Dec. 17, 2016, where he spent the rest of the season.

With the move, this means Brett Hundley will start the final two games of the seasons. Hundley has started seven games this year and has registered 1,377 yards, seven touchdowns, five interceptions and a passer rating of 83.8. 

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Callahan, what a top drawer last name. "Dirty" Harry is probably the greatest character name in all of cinema. You could really try to put any bad ass name up against "Harry Callahan" and it would be extremely tough to argue it's gritty smoothness. John McLane is too quick and Rocky Balboa can subliminally make a person with a case of the gluttony think of ice cream.

Harry Callahan makes you feel the stubble on your face no matter if you're man, woman or child. It will make you down a shot of whiskey and make you grimace when you think of how life on the force has sucked the joy out of you. You think about the wife that left you, the kids she took and the lone leftover Chinese that's been in your fridge for three days that's right beside your other bottle of Wild Turkey.

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Let me tell you, this Joe Callahan is hitting all the points of star power. Sure, getting signed and released by several teams may seem bad on just face value, but let's dig a little deeper, eh? Peel these layers away of pop culture potential away, if you will. We've already mentioned the last name, but let's look at this Irish bloke's full blown designation:

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Dang, peace be with you, Francis Joseph. This dude could be straight out of The Town, The Departed or any pick your Irish gangster movie out of a hat. He could either be the legit cop trying to make his namesake right or he could be the hoodlum that hits you with an ashtray after you insult his drinking preference. Now granted, Joe's from Jersey not Massachusetes, but you could look at it like he's covering all the bases of the northeast coast of sports fandom if you want to be an optimist.

Next, let's do a little celebrity fusion science to see who get's us to the land of "Dirty Joe":

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+

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=

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Starlord Andy Dwyer + Some Samwise Rudy Ruettiger + either good/bad person from your Irish gangster flick = "Dirty" Joe F'n Callahan. 

Also, let's not rule out the fact that he went un-drafted and was a Division THREE quarterback. That's one rung below Joe Flacco's Delaware Blue Hens and my alma mater, the Clarion Golden Eagles who only had one winning season during my seven-year tenure there (happened to be my last too, fly Eagles fly).

Joe has underdog written all over him. I hope he gets a shot at the gridiron to put Absecon, New Jersey and the Wesley Wolverines on the map of professional football.

That little bastard Rudy never even got to see a full series. "Dirty" Joe's a pro and already a seasoned journeyman. Sky's the limit, punk.

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