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Some Of Don Rickles' Best Jokes, Insults & Quotes

Some Of Don Rickles' Best Jokes, Insults & Quotes

Don Rickles passed away today at the exuberant age of 90. The comedy legend might be known to most people in the 18-35 demo as Mr. Potato Head in Toy Story, but let's widen our eyes a bit fellow millennials - he was the absolute king of insult comedy: his targets ranged from Bob Hope, to Dennis Haysbert, to Jimmy Kimmel (and the list sure goes on), to every nationality and sexual orientation. The things he'd say would (and did) ruffle some of feathers of today's too-easily-"triggered" PC crowd, and his death shines a light on that. To give him a tip of the cap, here are some of his best quotes, his best jokes and his best insults. R.I.P., you hockey puck.


"Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that."


"They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities."


[Regarding his ethnic jokes] "Don’t write letters folks. We cover them all."


“I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.”


"I love my wife, but she's ill."


"Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap."


[To Johnny Carson] “Hi, dum dum. … Where does it say you butt in, dummy? I’m fed up with you already, you know that?"...."That’s it, laugh it up. You’re making $50 million a year and your poor parents are back in Nebraska eating locusts for dinner.” 


[To Frank Sinatra] "Hey, Frank, make yourself at home. Hit somebody."


[To Clint Eastwood] "Clint, I'm sorry, but I just gotta say what's on everybody's mind here tonight: You're a terrible actor."


[To Clint Eastwood] "Clint's idea of a good time is sitting on a pickup truck watching his dog bark."


[To Martin Scorcese] "Marty ... somebody get a phone book so you can see me.


"Paul Shaffer … [you're] an awfully nice guy, but there's a new thing out there called food…"


[To hippie-ish gentleman in the audience] "I didn't recognize the guy with the beard. Good luck in Bethlehem."

Cuppa Coffee: Don Rickles, Frank Sinatra & Johnny Carson

Cuppa Coffee: Don Rickles, Frank Sinatra & Johnny Carson

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