With Marte Out, This Is Frazier's City, Pittsburgh
Talk about a Joe Louis jab to the ollllll' solar plexis, that news was a real turd in the Pirates punch bowl at the Marte Part-ay wasn't it? A real Nandrolone nightmare, as it were. As a matter of fact, it ruined the party. Like when Frank The Tank got a dart in the neck. Nobody's going to use that punch bowl for at least 80 games (or the playoffs, but that's only if Shoeless Joe decides to magically come through our new digital scoreboard for some Field of Dreams type wonder). Our prospects went from "cautious yet blinded new season and biased opinion" excitement to "kick our fun in the nuts" humiliation. This is gonna be a tough one to walk off...(ah, walk-off, hey, remember last week when Marte hit that gran - ohhh go screw yourself, Dom)
Is there anything, any silver-lining we can try to shake this magic eight ball of bullshit in our favor? What can we tune into now that our Seinfeld has been moved to anabolic syndication? Oh, there is something, people and get this: it's a spin-off. Not Joey, thank God, or that 24: Legacy hot trash Fox is trying to sling, oh no. This one here has promise:
Hmmm, smartly witty, Dr. Crane, but "most likely to be" what? Do we have another potential "hit" series on our stupid, gullible, Pirate loving hands or do we "hear the blues a-callin'"?(heyyyy ohhh I hate myself) Adam Frazier will have a lot of opportunity now to sink or swim on this ship that just got it's crow's nest cannon-balled clean off. Stan Savran mentioned Frazier's got a lot more hit power than what we've even been lucky enough to see at this point, so hopefully he can apply it on an at least half-respectable basis. Expectations shouldn't be high, but I'd say optimistic enough to keep some things interesting. Cutch will obviously move back to center field (he's actually manning the center of Busch quite well as I currently write) which opens right for a Josh Bell (let's call him the Wings of our "Must See TV" bunch) or our aforementioned Georgia boy.
Yes, I as a Pirates fan am deflated, but I'm still all ready for some good old Frasier's dad and Eddie the dog antics. Or at least a little Niles out-friend-zoning himself to Daphne.
LET'S GO BUCS.