Gronk, Our New Mr. Yuck, Gives Us A PSA On The Dangers Of Eating Tide Pods
This...this is it. As a society, we've done a lot of brain dead stuff. A lot. Bath salts were just the tip of the iceberg, apparently. Whip-its? At least they have some sort of food connotation. Even the right scented Yankee Candle can make any five-star chef's mouth water (say, looking for those five-star recipes? Look no further than here.) Hell, I'm still even half-tempted to eat Play-Doh from time to time, but Tide Pods?
Ever since the days of Mr. Yuck (which those days have never should have ended if they did - even more evident considering the topic) we've been warned of the dangers of eating laundry detergent, Comet or any sort of cleaning agent that mom had under the sink. They were public enemy number one to 3-5 year olds. The Joker to our Batman. I distinctly remember the horrific imagery that I carried with me if I was ever stupid enough to wash down my sugar high of Oreos & Smarties with a side of Windex: holes burning into my throat, lungs melting away, the whole kit-and-kaboodle. I can thank Mr. Yuck for that and Eddie The Eagle for gun safety.
Gronk is our new Mr. Yuck. He's who Tide turned to when this idiotic craze hit the social media world. I was too lazy to concern myself to see if Tide Pod eating is actually a legitimate concern, but I have to believe Tide would not recruit the nation's biggest party animal athlete to tell the youth of America the dangers of eating little pillows filled with laundry detergent. I'm totally okay with Gronk being the spokesperson for everything under the sun as he's the quintessential football party jock, but this one should be totally unnecessary. Tide's campaign against this craze should just be an image similiar to Anthony's Dad on "Ren & Stimpy" with a quote saying "Don't Be A Fucking Idiot."
Now thanks to this, we're gonna see Gronk plow through the Titans like they all ate a bunch of Tide Pods.
But truly, whatever marketing person Tide assigned to damage control this situation should receive some sort of advertising award. Total genius move on such an idiotic matter.