The KeysTone Statement

A sports, humor and entertainment blog right in the heart of Pittsburgh (and Pennsylvania).

Can't Confirm, But I May Have Had An Impact On The Pirates Game Last Night

Can't Confirm, But I May Have Had An Impact On The Pirates Game Last Night

I understand how this headline comes across - a lofty, brazen, I'll even go as far as egotistical claim to make: "Oh, look at this guy: Of course 'Mr. Center Of The Universe' blogger who hasn't sat down to watch a full Pirates game since April, can't catch a baseball to save his life and didn't even know Craig 'weird ass batting stance' Counsell currently manages the Milwaukee Brewers somehow thinks that he had some sort of influence on the Pirates comeback win last night. What a degenerate clown."

Allow me to retort with this: have you ever worn a "rally cap" or had a leashed primate mascot apart of your team just to label him as a "rally monkey"? Did you think those had any impact? Hmm? Ask Tim Salmon or any of the other 2002 Angels of Anaheim.

And I also say this to you, hypothetical person I made up in my head who somehow knows my baseball watching tendencies, that boom. You just set yourself up for story time.

I work at Whole Foods. Yes, that's right: the recently purchased by Amazon, organic grocery store giant where people keep insisting to make drone jokes Whole Foods. And two (count 'em two) Bucco players of impact came into do a little shopping earlier in the day: Josh Harrison & Francisco Cervelli. Now I didn't pry to find out what either of them purchased or if they brought their own refundable bags (if you judge a person solely based on that then maybe you should look in the mirror at what's truly important), but I did have slight interaction with each of them.

I handed J-Hay two bags to throw his produce in and in that process, I accidentally knocked my communication device (some call it a "walkie talkie") off my person in which the 2017 NL All-Star was gracious enough to recover for me. An extremely awesomely thoughtful dude, that J-Hay.

Cervelli I only caught in passing, but congratulated him on his performance during the game the night before and he politely thanked me in return.

These interactions, as small as they were, made me happy, who's to say that Cervelli or Harrison didn't exit the store feeling the same way? "Wow, that guy who kinda looked like a shorter Michael Stipe did a great job at handing me those bags. My fuji apples are now going to stay fresher longer because of him. You know, maybe I'll have one before the game - they always seem to give me energy!" or "hey, that bald guy who took an unnecessary turn at the salad bar and whose voice volume that was up one decibel too high really made me feel good by saying 'great game'. Maybe I have another one in me tonight. Boy, the ambiance is just swell in here!" All extremely plausible and logical thought processes: either of which could have made more of an impact than any monkey or inside out hat purchased from a drifter on the street. Let's take a look at their stat lines for last night, eh?

3-3, 1 BB



Francisco "Great Game" Cervelli

3-5, 1 R

Josh "My Walkie Talkie Friend" Harrison

You're welcome, everyone.


 (Sidenote: In all actuality it was really cool to somewhat interact with two of my favorite players on a day where they helped keep their team in it for what has been an important series for our Pittsburgh Pirates. Real fun to be a baseball fan right now.)

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