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The KeysTone Statement

A sports, humor and entertainment blog right in the heart of Pittsburgh (and Pennsylvania).

Jaded Jedi: Episode 1 "Getting (Too Damn) Early In Line" (A Spoiler Free Feature)

Jaded Jedi: Episode 1 "Getting (Too Damn) Early In Line" (A Spoiler Free Feature)

This three-part series is spoiler free of any "Last Jedi" revelations, everybody. Don't you worry and read with confidence.


It's settled. I'm a pretty jaded movie/media event goer. Definitely not a snob, but definitely jaded. Especially when it comes to monster huge blockbusters or series premieres that people get way too excited about. I'm not talking about the normal giddiness one gets for the big night, but on a whole other level of excitement where they begin to forget that the world they're celebrating is completely fictional. "Whooooaa, settle down, friend. Doctor Who isn't actually going to pop over in a phone booth and take you back to chat to Winston Churchill. You're just lucky that the BBC can actually get some half-decent production visuals going. Have some Baked Lays, will ya?"

I do totally sympathize being a comic book and wrestling nerd. There's times where I get extremely jazzed up and start talking about Samoa Joe or Gambit to random strangers like they're as recognizable as Santa Claus (which I'm sure has warded off many a female from time to time). But even among those familiar fanboy like situations, I do find myself thinking "this isn't the end-all-be-all/I kind of feel like cattle right now." My own shit I have to deal with, I guess.

Anyways, I decided at the last minute to go see "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" last night and much like George Lucas capitalized on a three movie format, I'll stretch out this feature in it's own three "episodes", because who doesn't like to hear people bitch? 

I'd say let's hit the signature text crawl, but I got nothing

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Except that.


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Jaded Jedi: Episode 1 "Getting (Too Damn) Early In Line"

When I bought a ticket to a 9:30 showing of Star Wars yesterday, I was pretty surprised that I could secure a seat at this juncture, but I did, and being that I had no ties for the rest of the evening, I ventured over there at 7:45 like a paranoid psychopath. Very few people were there and I had "The Force Awakens" to watch on my phone, so I was ready to kill some time (and see the last of my boy, Han, R.I.P., brother.)

However, one thing that I always do appreciate is the bonding you can get with the other people who were nuts enough to show up too early. It's gotta be the kind of comradeship meth-head bikers get when they see each other riding a Harley or when a crunchy yuppie sees another Patagoniast in a rag-top.  "Hey, we're this desperate to get good seating, let's talk about it!" Getting the human interaction with people who aren't totally foaming at the mouth with case of Hogwarts or The Force is nice and that's what these fellow line folks were. Star Wars fans, but not someone who has Yoda tattooed across the length of their back.

The line started getting enormous and it wasn't until 9:15 that they began filing folks in. I could have completely not paid for a ticket either because they never scanned my phone or asked to see a stub, but that Fandango was a real savvy son of a bitch. I walked in ahead and waited for my fellow line mates to see if they'd disperse or stick together (thick as thieves), but disperse they did and I found a seat right off middle center.

Isolated as Luke was on Tatoonie.

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NEXT UP: Episode 2 "The Previews"....

Jaded Jedi: Episode 2 "The Previews" (A Spoiler Free Feature)

Jaded Jedi: Episode 2 "The Previews" (A Spoiler Free Feature)

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