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The KeysTone Statement

A sports, humor and entertainment blog right in the heart of Pittsburgh (and Pennsylvania).

Can't Wait To Welcome Former NFL Quarterback, Jeff Smoker, To The Pittsburgh Pirates

Can't Wait To Welcome Former NFL Quarterback, Jeff Smoker, To The Pittsburgh Pirates

Via Bill Baer of NBCSports.com

The Mets announced on Wednesday that the club coughed up lefty reliever Josh Smoker in exchange for Pirates minor league pitcher Daniel Zamora. Smoker had been designated for assignment by the Mets on Friday.

Smoker was stubbed out of the 40-man roster to make room for Jose Reyes, who was also signed on Friday. The trade marks a cessation of a three-year stint with the Mets. In 71 2/3 innings in the majors, Smoker owns a 5.02 ERA with a 93/36 K/BB ratio. He has a habit of missing the strike zone, but there’s no patch for that. Pitching coach Ray Searage will try to get him to quit, otherwise his reputation as a miracle worker will be tarred and he will become the butt of jokes.

Smoker throws hard, is left-handed, and is relatively cheap, which are all pluses for the Pirates. He’ll have ample opportunity to work his way up the depth chart.

Who says the Pirates aren't wheeling and dealing? We just got the next Bo, the next Primetime: two pro sports athlete Jeff "Move The Chains" Smoker! See, you guys all pissed on Hunty & Nutty because of those trades, but all for not! They found a diamond in the rough as quick as Jeff here found the fountain of youth:

 Jeff in 1999 shaking hands with the governor himself, Nicky Saban

Jeff in 1999 shaking hands with the governor himself, Nicky Saban

 Jeff with hat on for the St. Louis Rams in 2004. (Had to dig deep with that Getty Image pull)

Jeff with hat on for the St. Louis Rams in 2004. (Had to dig deep with that Getty Image pull)

That's right, the Pirates found their very own case of Benjamin Button (I typically like to shorten it to "Benny Butts", but I think I've overstepped my nicknaming threshold for this article). Now let's check out this cat's stats - first, the gridiron:

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Alriiiiight...clean slate! That means fresh legs and a fresh arm for raising that Jolly Roger. Now, let's have a look at his time with the Metropolitans:

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Okay cool, that -0.3 WAR only means his ceiling is all the more higher. Same with that 5.02 ERA! They're just numbers, folks, pay no mind. (Side note: don't want to tell Baseball Reference how to do their jobs, but they might want to fix that name snafu. Simple mistake, but this isn't tee ball guys - button your shit up).

Nonetheless, I'm just punching my catcher's mitt in anticipation for pitchers to report on the 12th. though with this signing I could pull a Phil Connors and live yesterday over and over.

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Speaking of diamonds, lucky that I've preserved this treasure for so long - I knew the time would come (Reserve not yet met).

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LET'S GO BUCS.

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