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The KeysTone Statement

A sports, humor and entertainment blog right in the heart of Pittsburgh (and Pennsylvania).

Joey Porter Will Feel The City Of Pittsburgh's Wrath With A $300 Fine

Joey Porter Will Feel The City Of Pittsburgh's Wrath With A $300 Fine

Per Associated Press:

Pittsburgh Steelers assistant coach Joey Porter has been fined $300 after pleading guilty to disorderly conduct stemming from a dispute with a bar bouncer and a police officer last month.

Porter entered the plea Tuesday in City Court in Pittsburgh, ending a case in which he originally faced a serious felony charge of aggravated assault for allegedly grabbing the officer's wrists outside a bar after a bouncer denied him entrance Jan. 8.

Four days later, Allegheny County District Attorney Stephen Zappala Jr. said he'd reviewed surveillance video of the incident and announced plans to drop all but two citations against Porter - for disorderly conduct and public drunkenness - setting off a public relations tug of war involving Porter, police and the city's Citizen Police Review Board. The public drunkenness citation was dropped Tuesday before Porter pleaded guilty to the only remaining charge.

''Joey Porter was initially charged with numerous felony and misdemeanor charges,'' defense attorney Robert Del Greco said after the brief hearing in City Court. ''Today all of those misdemeanors and felonies were dismissed.''

Porter walked briskly from the court building without commenting.

That last line is probably my favorite. But $300? Whoa, ease up fellas. It's not like he tried to bring a gun in there. Just a minor kerfuffle. Let's roll that beautiful bean footage:

Bobby Del Greco: Attorney At Law. "Don't Trash The Stache - his client was bull-rushed, dammit!" Maybe, Bobby, everyone seemed to think that they should push him against a car because he's a drunk ex-football player who could compound fracture any one of those hanger-on-ers at will. Maybe that's it, eh?

Honesty, though, the whole "chaotic scrum" thing wasn't that bad. It reminded me of the scene in The Babe (John Goodman, not the pig) where the Bambino's star was fading behind Gehrig's so he shows up to the game blitzed and gets into his own "chaotic scrum" with the manager so the dugout has to hold him back as he screams "Yer yellow! Yerrrr yellowww!" Actually, I'm impressed - that's a fairly accurate comparison, minus Porter being a talented athlete and "The Sultan of Swat" never getting a bullet in the ass.

Maybe it's his dental make-up, but you can tell Joey was your run of the mill, Biff Tannon kind of bully-jock in high school. The kind that ball taps or burps then blows it in your face. I hope  that clown feels every bit of that $300. No XBox One S for you, Porter kids!

I hope you didn't father that glorified ambulance chaser, Bob.

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