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Ridiculous Live Game Notes: Penguins vs. Canadiens "Geno & The Swedes"

Ridiculous Live Game Notes: Penguins vs. Canadiens "Geno & The Swedes"

Photo: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

These notes were written while watching tonight's Penguins game. Please, again, note that they are just notes and attempts to be witty and engaging. Look at it as a glorified Twitter feed. If you're coming here for breakdowns of goals, player strategy or anythings of the advanced hockey knowledge, you may cringe at the forthcoming. Enjoy!

The Pens suffer a tough OT loss at the hands of the Rangers and the commentary of one Susan Sarandon. No one could escape such haunting siren calls.


  • Sullivan feeling his Irish roots with that green tie.
  • I was unable to watch the game last night so let me take this moment to say how nice it is to have Rust back. #tetanus
  • Shea Weber is out for the next six months. That's a bummer, man.
  • HBK line gets a shout-out.
  • Lehkonen scores his ninth of the year off a re-direct goal (0-1)
  • Kessel is ninth all time for consecutive games played. I had no idea. What a hockey player. What an American.
  • Oleskiak feels the shame with holding and Pens go on the PK
  • Gallagher knocks a rebound puck and Paul Byron takes advantage to make it (0-2)
  • This is awful. Pens offense is nonexistent and Paul Byron has a great hockey name. I'm thoroughly disgusted by all this.
  • Kessel and Rust almost make something happen but the post says nay and the clang hurts my heart.
  • That last comment makes me think of that 80s tune "Listen To Your Heart." I'll add the video between intermissions as I'm curious to see who sings such a gorgeous song.
  • Rust and Kessel trade places in the pass-shoot game and it gives the Penguinos their first goal. Really sweet pass by Rust. Trading Places - great movie, great goal. (1-2)
  • Guentzel showing some good moves right at the blue line
  • Horny slips through the pressure like a boss to score a goal. That was some Indiana Jones shit. (2-2)
  • It's nice Niemi is starting to let goals in again. Really nice.
  • Guentzel fires one off after Phil passes then leaves the ice like Bruce Willis walking away from the explosion.
  • Alright, that's the end of the 1st. enjoy some Roxette.


  • Never noticed how shiny the Canadiens pants are.
  • I'm seeing a popcorn vender by the boards and realize how awful I'd be at that job.
  • Gallagher smashed Hornqvist from behind like he was a watermelon (you don't realize how badly I was waiting for a moment like that to happen so I could make that joke)
  • Very close call in front of the net and I don't know how Jarry made it in front in time to stop it
  • Pens just aren't creating a whole lot of chances in front of the net
  • Kessel whiffs on a one-time opp from Sid.
  • Malkin just Hulks that slapshot into the net to make the Canadien fans green with envy. His 40th. (3-2)
  • Maatta does a solid job at keeping the puck in play.
  • Nick scores the tying goal on just Montreal's second shot of the period. (3-3)
  • I was eating pizza as Phil missed a shot and dropped a wonderful F bomb of rage.
    We're at the end of two. Let's follow up some Roxette with a little Wilson Philips (seven year old me had a huge crush on the blonde one)


  • Errey thanks Byron for the Hornqvist goal and I thank Errey for that comment
  • Ref waving a goal off as he sees the puck is just not over the line.
  • Jarry kicks a shot away with almost 14:00 minutes left
  • If Philly doesn't make the playoffs:
  • Malkin tries flipping the puck, doesn't succeed, kicks it back to himself. Quite talented.
  • Kessel delivers a beautiful pass to Brassard but couldn't keep the puck down on the ice
  • Crosby's Stinger Splashing Alzner twice into the boards.
  • Hornqvist chips the puck in to make it a one goal lead (4-3)
  • Errey and Mears are discussing what Hornqvist was doing when he got drafted. Options are "mowing grass" & "running over goalies." Either one I enjoy visualizing him do.
  • That's 400 points for Horny. Hell yes.
  • Mears notes how quiet it is in the Bell Centre
  • Horny's jamming to Lil' Jon. I'm not kidding as Errey makes note of it.
  • Net is empty and Rust scores just like that (5-3) Back to back games with a goal for him and he's got 36 points and his open net curse is lifted
  • Two minutes left.
  • Crosby, Sheahan & Rust are on the ice.
  • Jarry shuts down a one-timer with 43 ticks left.
  • Malkin's back on the ice as Petry hits one off the crossbar.
  • Malkin gets so close to a third point but the shot's wide and the game ends.

FINAL SCORE: 5-3, your Pittsburgh Penguins hockey club.

My Three Stars

3. Phil Kessel. The man is fast. The man can pass. The man is America.

2. Evgeni Malkin. Geno & The Swedes get it done to get Malkin his 40th goal of the season (thank you r/penguins for the nickname)

1. Patric Hornqvist. Speaking of Swedes, how about this guy? 10 SOG & 3 points, one of those being #400 for him.

Enjoy the weekend, boys.


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