Breaking News: Malkin Thinks Crosby Is "Hardworking"
Via James O'Brien of NBC Sports:
"Evgeni Malkin shared some interesting observations with Sports-Express’ Igor Eronko this weekend, including that he believes that the Pittsburgh Penguins “have all the tools” to win a third Stanley Cup in a row.
Quite reasonably, Malkin notes that the team kept its core intact.
Of course, Malkin and Sidney Crosby are still the catalysts for the Penguins, so it’s always fun to come across the latest observations from the Russian star."
So I know it's a slow time for sports: we've got the Pirates mud-sliding their way out of contention and preseason football is as hot as it's always been (which is not at all). However, thanks to Igor and James here, we found a news gem that will shatter all of the sports universe beyond repair: Evgeni Malkin thinks Sidney Crosby is "hardworking", everybody.
I know, I know. I can't believe it myself. A star teammate of Sidney Crosby thinks he, a three-time Stanley Cup winner, a two-time Conn Smythe winner, seven-time All-Star and former house buddy of Mario Lemieux, is a workaholic.
Have you realized that you're frozen in your tracks yet? Did you drop your phone on the pavement with mouth agape? Did you run home like Charlie Bucket, shake your bed-ridden grandfather awake from a deep slumber to let him know that you have the golden ticket of Pittsburgh's secrets, and did he in turn, get up with a fresh pair of rejuvenated energy and break into song?
Get the hell out of here with this shit, James. How is this news? Were you this desperate for a write-up? Was your Ed Asner-looking boss with hairy forearms breathing down your neck to get something out on the site on that desperate? Thank goodness I'm just a lowly blogger that can commentate about paid sports writers who write about non-news. This is junk. The picture of Kessel with the hot dogs in Lord Stanley provides more of a newsflash than this.
And the most ironic thing about all this? I chose to write about this because I too have nothing to write about.