The KeysTone Statement

A sports, humor and entertainment blog right in the heart of Pittsburgh (and Pennsylvania).

Penguino Round-Up: Bonino's Hat Trick, Evgeni Howe, Mucho Fighting, Letang, PETA

Penguino Round-Up: Bonino's Hat Trick, Evgeni Howe, Mucho Fighting, Letang, PETA

Fisticuffs, Degeneracy Occur In Winnipeg As Bonino Scores A Hat Trick & Malkin Gets A Gordie Howe

Two fights broke out during last night's heated up match up between the Jets and the Pens as we pull out a 7-4 W to cap off a heck of a hockey night. The first one was Blake Wheeler seeking retribution on Malkin after the "Malkin-Mash" he received during their last encounter in December. And our favorite Rusky had a bit of a receipt coming (who later scored goal number 30 and 31 to help get the final word in) . Not too long after, recent call up Tom Sestito decided to throw down with Chris Thorburn (fights below - note the Popeye graphic on the boards as two Bluto it out):

Only the first period. No big deal. Let's chill out, guys. Plenty of game left to let cooler heads prevail right?

Oh boy, Tommy. Well, I'd say you would also have a receipt coming, but I don't think you'll be up in the big leagues long enough to get all your shopping done.

Despite that very suspect "tough love" tap, Malkin and Bonino sure didn't cool things down as Bonino got your regular ol' hat trick and Evgeni got himself a "Gordie Howe" hat trick (a goal, an assist and a fight - probably the coolest stat line you could get in any professional sport) to put the Pens over the Jets.

That's three straight, everybody. And Malkin is awesome:

Heck yeah, Evgeni. "Shoot puck" indeed.

Cool Our Pies - Letang's Injury Not Concussion or Stroke Related

Per Sam Werner of Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

WINNIPEG, Manitoba — Penguins coach Mike Sullivan offered some clarity on defenseman Kris Letang’s injury Wednesday, confirming it is not a concussion, nor is it related to Letang’s previous stroke.

Sullivan said Letang’s injury could be described as “hockey-related.”

“There’s just been so much speculation around Kris’ injury,” Sullivan said. “What I will confirm is that it’s not a concussion, it’s not related to a stroke or anything of that nature. Kris has an upper-body injury, he’s rehabbing the injury at home as we speak. We’re hopeful here that he’ll have a quick turnaround and we’ll get him back in the lineup.”

Letang has been out since the team’s Feb. 21 game in Carolina. He practiced Feb. 24 at Heinz Field, prior to the Stadium Series game against the Flyers, but has not practiced with the team or played since then.

Sullivan, though, wanted to shut down those ideas.

“I know there’s been tons of speculation around it, so we’d rather just confirm that it’s not that stuff,” he said.

Whew. Being down several defensemen is one thing, but seeing Letang getting knocked out of the  league with head troubles is something no one wants to see. Let's hope this "upper body injury" is just due to some underground cage fighting or he's being secretly training with Ra's al Ghul in some sort of Batman League of Shadows type shit.

Photo courtesy of USA Today

Photo courtesy of USA Today

Usual Overreactors PETA Actually Makes A Decent Point About The NHL's Use Of Live Penguins During The Stadium Series

Okay, I know this news is over a week old, but I still have some comments on the matter.

Per PETA & The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

"March 2, 2017

David Morehouse
President and CEO
Pittsburgh Penguins

Dear Mr. Morehouse,

I'm writing on behalf of PETA and our more than 5 million members and supporters worldwide to urge you never again to have live animals at Heinz Field, given the disturbing video footage showing penguins from the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium scrambling in terror after being paraded in front of a screaming crowd and in close proximity to ear-splitting fireworks.

It's inherently stressful for wild animals — who naturally shun contact with humans and are extremely sensitive to environmental changes — to be hauled around, used as props, and exposed to noisy crowds, with or without explosives going off. Hockey fans come to see talented athletes compete, not shy animals terrorized."

The letter continues...

"A noisy arena filled with screaming people and loud fireworks is no place for wild animals. At a time when Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus has announced that it will close and SeaWorld has ended its orca-breeding program, it has never been clearer that the public does not support the abuse of animals for human entertainment. Will you please let us know that you won't use live animals for promotions in the future?

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely yours,

John Di Leonardo, M.S.
Senior Campaigner
Animals in Entertainment"

Even as a huge animal lover, I tend to take what PETA says with a grain of salt. It seems more often than not, they overreact to things a little too much, like the person who smells of pee and owns thirty cats. I'm all for the loving treatment of God's creatures, but PETA has to chill the eff out.

However, I kind of see where they're coming from here. At first, my heart swelled with affection seeing those cute little bastards run across the ice, giving me hockey pride and legit penguin pride, but matching the video up with Di Leonardo's letter does paints a bit of a sour image. They did look a little freaked out.

Just think if you were abducted by aliens who you couldn't understand what the hell they were saying to you, they throw you in their spaceship and send you a galaxy out to their home planet where other weird, poorly dressed, out of shape aliens bring their shitty kids to in their one of many summers to all gawk at you as you watch Stranger Things in a room with no walls. Then out of nowhere, just as you're getting comfortable dropping heat in front of everyone, they take you out one random day, throw you into a middle of an arena full to walk around in an open space as they shoot off flames in the sky right before a Rancor dukes it out with a giant talking ape. I'd say you'd be a little traumatized. 

That being said, I would think that The Pittsburgh Zoo knows what they're doing and their employees really care for the animals, whether they are penguins, polar bears or snails in a tank. I'm totally torn here, but if I did have to guess, I'd say the penguins would have loved to just stay in their zoo spot to glide around on their own home ice.

Either way...


Movie Review: "Logan: A Swan Song"

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Cuppa Coffee: Missed the Boat by Modest Mouse

Cuppa Coffee: Missed the Boat by Modest Mouse