Post Game (Of Thrones) Thoughts: S7, E1 "Dragonstone"
(DISCLAIMER: I have no clue whatsoever on how to spell [or remember] character names, but I will forego my due diligence of journalistic integrity by researching the proper spelling in favor of humor and self-mockery. Seriously, screw off GRRM for making these names too close to real ones):
So the first episode of season 7 started off with one of the most cold-blooded of cold openings we could have asked for. Arya bamboozling all of Walder Fray's men to drink the juice of death with a little face trickery was quite a way to kick our GoT hangover. Other than that though, and a few other minor surprises here and there, I overall thought that for a first episode it came across as a B+ , but it delivered if you factor in all the tables that were being set for this season. Nothing wrong with a little slow play.
Now if you're looking for a more "thorough" review, maybe go somewhere south of the wall then, but if you're looking for thoughts from a guy with a more than a few probably misinformed observations and who hasn't reacquainted himself with the series since HBO last aired season 6, then by the beard of that ginger wildling who's macking hard on Brianne of Tarth, you've come to the right place. I give you my thought's on "Dragonstone"
- That new Greyjoy looks like he's the nephew of Cypher from The Matrix or at the very least, the already creepy guy that "drinks in your aura" at the club before he drops the ecstasy. This "priceless gift" he's bringing Cersei is going to be something at cat lady crazy level, like a bedazzled turd in a box or a bundle of grass clippings.
- Is the Hound a little more curmudgeon because the Light people keep calling him Clargengone? He's definitely more of a nickname guy.
- I was all about the dude singing beautifully in the woods until I realized it was Ed Sheeran. A little shoehorned in there if you ask me. I can't wait until we see John Mayer jamming with the snake ladies.
- Samwell has literally and figuratively gotten the shitty end of the stick here. You're potentially spending out the rest of your days cleaning out sick people's chamber pots in horrific "too close to everything else shown in that montage" montages in hopes of defeating an undead army of ice people who kill quicker than Predator? I don't know man, I'd be looking for some loopholes around a couple of those daily chores. Just gather a crap ton of hearts to weigh or reorganize the library.
- I'm head counselor of "Camp Jorah" so the realization that it was him reaching out for Sam in the Citadel was a sobering fanboy experience. Dude's gotta pull through. This grey scale thing is small potatoes when you consider how far into the friend zone he is with Daenaryes.
- Speaking of creeps, Little Finger's still a ten on that scale.
- I enjoy seeing Davos just hanging out. I wish he would carve more sculptures though. He's really good at it. Might be therapeutic considering all the circumstances. Side hustles are good for the soul.
- Also, Sansa's not starting off this alignment with Jon on the right foot. Keep these difference of opinions just between brother and sis and not in front of an already uncertain army of surly, cold, probably hungry soldiers. Hash this shit out behind the curtain. It's not like you have bread and circus at your disposal to cool things over. These people are already pissed off, let's not dump gas on that fire.
- I don't care how dull the Hound thinks he is, I dig the eye patch guy's style. He's scrappy, modest and steadfast in his beliefs. He's got no clue as to why he keeps coming back to life, he's just rolling with the punches, impalements and severe amounts of blood loss.
- So many of the bearded people are still hard to keep track of and now we've got Dragon Land as another location to worry about, which also looks like Greyscale Land (I actually think they are one in the same since a dragon was flying around there a few seasons back) and other areas Dany's already taken hold of.
Alright, time to go stare into the flames of that fire I started in my stairwell. #WinterIsHere