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Seven Points Tom Savage Could Take From His Uncle Randy Before Sunday's Game

Seven Points Tom Savage Could Take From His Uncle Randy Before Sunday's Game


With Deshaun Watson's year done, the Houston Texans will look to Tom Savage to try and salvage their season.

Coach Bill O'Brien confirmed that Watson was out for the season on Friday, a day after the star rookie quarterback tore the anterior cruciate ligament in one of his knees during practice. O'Brien said he didn't have any other details on the injury, and wouldn't say if Watson will have surgery.

A fiery O'Brien brushed aside the notion that Watson's injury signaled doom for this team.

"We're not going to give in to what's out there — (that) the demise of the Houston Texans is upon us," he said. "Like that's ridiculous. We're going to show up and fight and play."

Savage started the season opener, but he was benched at halftime in favor of Watson, who started each game since. Savage will make his fourth career start when the Texans host the Colts on Sunday.

"You can't really replace Deshaun Watson. You know what I mean," Savage said. "The kid's been playing absolutely lights out. But that's not my job. My job is to go out there and help this team win and do whatever I can to help."

I'll tell you what you can do to help, Tom. Get out a notepad, fire up that VCR and pop in one of the Coliseum Home Video tapes of this man and take some notes. 


Your Uncle Randy didn't have a WWF Championship on one arm and a smokeshow like Miss Elizabeth in the other just by riding pine. He carpe diemed that piece of the pie. And just like Sublime, I don't practice Santeria, but I think the late Madness would have some words of advice for you. Here's probably seven points he'd want you to snap into (note: highly encouraged to read along in your best Randy Savage voice).


1. "Oooo, A Little Time On The Bench Never Hurt Anybody, No."

So what? You were pushed down from the main event to curtain jerker. Happens to the best of us. Uncle Randy knows all about being overshadowed by that spolight stealer Hogan and younger acts that came his way (like Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon and Big Daddy Cool, yeah). Soon, Randy found himself ringside commentating rather than in-ring competing, but he made sure it wasn't for long. His opportunity came by jumping ship to WCW, but yours is right here, right now.


2. "Don't Read The Papers, Twitter, Nothin'."

Macho Man was notorious for his case of paranoia and it never served him well, nuh uh. You don't need to hear all those beat writers and social media trolls going all Hollywood Hogan on you and tearing you down. Which leads us to...


3. "Oooooo Just Relax, Tom, Yeah!"

Sure, this is a notion that's easier said than done, and even tougher when you have zero TD passes to your name, but the Macho Man never knew how to pump the brakes and sometimes that high energy can cause a missed diving elbow from time to time. Composure is key, brother. You may flare up...


4. "But The Beat Goes On (& So Does The Game Yeahhh...)"

If you make a mistake, leave it in the past.  Just keep on pressing and don't get...


5. "Gahhh, Elizabeth! I'm Snakebit!"

Not in the literal sense (Jake Roberts' Damien sure got Randy), but I'm sure Uncle Mach wouldn't want you to get shook up by trying to fill in those superstar Deshaun cleats. All you gotta focus on is getting those...


6. "Mega Powers To Unite!"

I'm talking D-Hop & Willy Fulls V. They are your Mega Powers to your Miss Elizabeth, fighting for them affections and receptions. No doubt they'll get open for you so you can...


7. "Hit Your Mark!"

Just get the ball to them. Uncle Mach's elbow was accurate, who's to say your tosses past the pylons or on the sidelines can't be the same? Only you can say that, Tom. Only you. Then and only then you may feel the impact of one of Randy's most appropriate quotes for your said predicament:

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