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The KeysTone Statement

A sports, humor and entertainment blog right in the heart of Pittsburgh (and Pennsylvania).

Pittsburgh vs. Jacksonville Playoff Preview By That Guy In Your Office Who Doesn't Watch Football

Pittsburgh vs. Jacksonville Playoff Preview By That Guy In Your Office Who Doesn't Watch Football

“Hey man, you watchin’ the big game on Saturday? Or is it Sunday? It’ll definitely be a good one though! I bet it’s gonna be a cold one!”

“Who are they playing again? Jacksonville? Jacksonville, Florida? Not Cleveland?”

“Oh I knew that. I hear they’re pretty good, but not as good as the ol’ Iron curtain right!?”

“I think Pittsburgh really has a good chance at winning it all this year. I bet Rothburger is able to score way more points than Jacksonville.”

“You know who used to be really good? That Jerome Bettis, remember him? "The Bus" they used to call him. Yeah he was pretty good. Who do they have now? Oh yeah, Le'Veon Bell, I don’t know why I keep forgetting his name. 'Saved By The Bell!'”

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“I can’t wait for the game this Sunday. I’m probably going to go over to my brother-in-law's place. He makes these awesome wings. They’re like a spicy buffalo wing but without the sauce, you know? The trick is you have to fry them twice and add some spice to the breading. My sister, his wife, also makes this great spinach dip. It’s not too greasy, I think it has yogurt in it, in fact it’s so light that before you know it you’ve eaten a whole bowl. That reminds me I need to get back to my New Year’s resolution to eat better. What’s that? Oh yeah I’ll probably watch that other game too.”

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“I bet the Steelers win by at least 50 points. I hear their throwing game is unstoppable this year. That coach really has them playing strong and I don’t think anyone could stop their defense! Cowher Power!”

“My favorite player is easily Hines Ward. What? Oh...I know he’s not on the team, I was just talking all time. I just liked that he was happy all the time, he really knew how to try hard out there. The team hasn’t been the same since he retired. I bet he could still play, better than any of those guys they have now! Did I tell you I saw him at Giant Eagle a few weeks ago, I didn’t want to bother him so I just nodded at him. He knew I recognized him though.”

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“So after this weekend when do they play again? Oh yeah, I knew that. I bet they win - all the way to the Super Bowl!”

“Yeah, you’re right, we better get back to work. Livin’ the dream! Let’s go Stillers!”

Celebrity Look-A-Like Math With New Chicago Bears Head Coach Matt Nagy

Celebrity Look-A-Like Math With New Chicago Bears Head Coach Matt Nagy

Let's All Take This Moment To Appreciate Drew Brees

Let's All Take This Moment To Appreciate Drew Brees